The day before today I was listening to ghazals and other shayari by Mirza Ghalib
and one particular line grabbed my attention... or I could say made my
day (good poems do make my day). Anyway, he says "
dard kaa had se guzarnaa hai dava ho jaanaa". I found it so contradictory, yet so true and then I was pondering about the extremes in life in general.
Living
life at extremes is an intense experience. You see things changing in an
absolutely unpredictable way. I am someone who's always on the edge...
experiencing the intensities of everything in life. My experiments with
life, out of which most happen to be circumstantial and some on purposes, have made me realize that life at extremes is so full of
paradoxes. These are phenomena that most people with average lifestyles
(or life at means) never get to know. Whether these are good or bad is a
matter of perception because it is one extreme case that turns coal
into diamond and another that reduces a shining star to a black hole.
There
have been times when I've shouted "woah... this is the rush I always
wanted!!!" and times when I said "why can't my life be just normal!!??"
and I've made both statements with equal emotional intensity. This is
just the beginning and we can already see the paradoxes emerging.
Extremes
of sensitivity actually makes you immune to emotional damage, thus
rendering you insensitive. This isn't much different from the process
of biological immunization against diseases. We are born with a wish to
live... as life goes on and gets tougher, the wish to live becomes the
will to survive. With our natural tendency to defend ourselves from any
kind of damage be it physical or emotional, we do react subconsciously.
Another
major paradox is with anger and frustration. You get frustrated the
first time, angry the next time... and if that situation keeps
happening then in due course of time you first smile at it and then
laugh it off saying something like "what!!! I actually got frustrated
about this stupid issue!!!?? Oh cummon, how could I!!??". Extreme anger
can actually make you laugh!!
Even the extremes of love lead to obsession, anger and hatred.
An unfulfilled deep desire left as it is ultimately fulfills itself... there's this line from a song - "
itnaa tarse ki pyaas hii naa rahii"This
is the metamorphosis of the human mind or we could say a drastic
reversal of the state of mind. On a more personal note, I find this
pretty interesting. I have chosen a life full of extremes because I
like a life where no rule applies, a life where no law holds good
...where you can never predict what the outcome of a particular
situation would be.
cheers -sp