Just getting too bored!!! Maybe I can bore everyone too....:)

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When you try your best but you don't succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep....

Coldplay playing on the background, I find myself in same prologue as the Chris Martin...
The mobile rings!!!...See my fren ringing in!!!
"What are you upto dude??"
"Nothing much...Same old things...What else??"
"Want to have a drink tonite??"
I am not a party animal to be honest!!! Like my own serenity...Movies being my fav time pass...
"Uh huh...Ok!!"I am too bored anyways....
"See u at 10 at Rock bar then!!!" Ah same bar again...But I like it there anyways...
Back to the book again..I find myself mingling with numbers and equations...Numbers jumble again in my heads turning it upside down!!! I watch the book closed and see instead a terror rising through it!!! Maybe exam fever was getting me now...But I try to remain calm!!!

....Lights will guide you home
and ignite your bones ...

Coldplay sings along!!! Maybe Some light will guide me anyways!!!
I sign into my messenger and look for someone to be online from back home...I miss home so much..maybe the food, maybe the place, maybe the homely feeling!!!

Ah there is the one fren of mine..old fren popping up in my messanger after so long!!!
"Ohoo!! Darshan hajur...Hajurko darshan nai paauna garho!!!" The satire begins!!
"K garnu hajur haaru befursti bhayechhi ma matra katti pachhi lagnu ni..:p???" I fire back!!
Had been months since I had written to anyone...Nothing to write anyways So I stopped writing..Even I call home so less these days!!!
"K chha yaar tero suna na!!" he asks
"Nothing new yaar.. exams are coming, so little bg thats all!!" But I have time to party!!
"tero ni!!" I inquire...
"am finishing masters this semester..then struggle again yaar.. U know how hard is here to find any job!!" He had left his job to continue study...
I just get scared even to think of my future now...

Coldplay sings on...

What if there was no light
Nothing wrong, nothing right
What if there was no time
And no reason, or rhyme
What if you should decide ....

No rhyme of life to sing along..and no light to show the path.....I just wonder around again...
"How is situation now yaar??" I want to know about the country!!!
" K bhanne yaar ustai ho, 1 chor gaayo 205 chhor aayo..aabo jhan k hune ho tha chhaina yaar!!! But I hope it will be all good, I just have hope!!!"
Yeah Hope was all we have!!
"Oiie ma aahile janchhu hai..Mero thesis ko kaam tanna chha yaar!!! Mail sail patha na!!" everybody seems bg anyways!!!
"dekhyo ko badhi bg raichha..:P! " I try to pull his leg...
"najiska na yaar...Mail patha baaru!!" He seems to feel guilty...I feel it too!! feel guilty to not keep in touch..But yeah busy as bee, or at least trying to look so!!!
But yeah everybody were out of touch...I just wonder those days... band of frens sitting on those bars beside the football field remain a memoir for now...
Memory reflashed!!!
"Oyee tero k garne bichaar chha yaar yehan sakechhi!!!"
" Khoi yaar maybe jagir khojchhu!!!"
" Malai ta tension bhaisakyo yaar..senior dai haaru halleko dekhera!!!.."
" Khoi yaar..pahila pass nai garaun na!!!"
" yeuta kura bhan na, yeah sakechhi maybe we will be out of touch hola hai!!"
" hya, saathi ni chhutchha ra!!" Someone retaliates...
" Khoi tara pacchi office bhayechhi thaha hunchha...aani barsau paachi bhet hunchha ekchhoti aani visiting card adan pradan hunchha...ghaar pugechhi chhora lai diyinchha tyo visiting card aani chhora le k bhanchha tha chah tmiharulai...."25!!!!"..."
'hahahahaha' everybody laughs out...

Seems those dialogue are taking its shape slowly...

"Bye hai, mail gardai gaar!!!" The message window seems to be blinking again...and the e-mails remain again a distant dream...

Life was turning a rugged path...have to be more tugged to walk along the line!!!...Struggle everywhere and struggle was on fiercely back home too....Some struggling for a mere bread...Some struggling for people around them...Some for power...Some for beleifs!!! The struggle was on...The rhododendron revolution as they call it had ended...But the struggle was still on...Power shows everywhere and people just dazed and confused...People...WHO CARED FOR THEM ANYWAYS!!!

Too much to think about country for now...I try to find some news back home!!!...Sad news again...Extortions!!! Accidents and Robbery!!! Distorted I try to search through the forum!!!

Ah!!! She is hot ...No She is not...What a discussion!!! and It gets personal again!!!

She blinked into the messanger now!!! Haven't seen her in ages...Missed her sometimes but missing seems to be part of life now!!!!!

Coldplay sings along...

If you ever feel like something's missing
Things you'll never understand
Little white shadows
Sparkle and glisten
Part of a system again!!!....

Maybe I have become part of system of MISSING!!!....

"Hey" I try to start conversation.
"Hey!!!"
"How are you??" I want to know more than that...
"Fine and going...You??" She asks!!!
"Yeah going on... how is life??" I try different angle...
" Same as before!!!" end of long conversation....
The message board doesn't seems to blink for long time...Maybe I couldn't ask more...She couldn't talk more!!!

I just stare through..Memories iterate again!!!

"What does frenship means??" She had once asked...
"Understanding without speaking...being there without being asked for!!!" I was too much ideological...
But we were there always for each other...through thick and thin!!!..Frenship at its best...Then things turned another way...
Path divided!!! Life continued...Mails failed to written and Known become unknowns...

Maybe We will meet again someday somewhere!!!

"Hey got to go hai...See u later!!!" She had something important...or maybe not!!!

Before I could say bye, she appeared offline!!! So much of missing anyways!!!

I look at watch now...9 already!!! have to grab something to eat now...and yeah have to go meet the fren!!!...Maybe I will celebrate new democracy back home!!

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Hey Nirman...as usual...was busy with studies....hmm ya Sis swallowed me...hehe...i finally come out again..hehe ..your message is conveyed... and you know what...may be i got your email add for MSN too from your that special freind on MSN who said "Hey got to go hai...See u later!!!" ....and the address given to me was....hehe nirman ..5@hotmail.com ....hehe keeping two numbers secret for privacy...wink

hehe. ardi..thats not my msn add....:D
It would be Nirman with surname along with it..;)
Got it!!!...Ciao
Nirman~*

ya got it...i even noted it down..hehe...will forward to some beautiful girls who could match my lovely freind on Sajha called Nirman ....wink wink... or shall i returned it back to the one who gave me...hehe..

hehe...No thanks fren..beautiful gals bite...eats all ur heart, and even don't take dakar!!!...:P ....so don't need them!!!...;)...anyways..don't get vanished again!!!..:)

Common...Nirman...My friend...You are strong enough to resist any bites...as your name suggests....you are here in this earth for Building (Nirman) not for disintegration ........You got such a big heart that who wants to eat all your heart will end up their life eating it but still can't finish it up.... and You never used to take Dakar...it's not even in your dictionary....so no problem ........the future is perfect for you...so be happy...n enjoy your study there in Europe... BTW i won't get vanished till i get something to read from you... :P ...am i demanding too much??...i hope i am not..hehe..c u later friend...

Nirman.... Just in one gaze and one breath reached to the last line along with lots of star line.... tiriririririri vaye.....Just "dami" cha...la ...

Keep on shining....

Nriman - yeah maybe i am just too young and dumb to understand it ke!! :(
Dec re?:O :O so you do come here often, but you just don't post as often!! (wink,wink) :P

nirman bro...ke bhanney...they already took the words i wanted to say!:@ :o( ;oP hehe

so signed in again today ;o)...

anyways good luck in ur exam..aftr exam hopefully u got some plans to blast that keyboard of urs ;o) hehe..

till then...

good day!
(ps john bro..wah wah bhandai taliya matrai garney hoina hai?any inspirations yet?i thot summer brings inspirations?;o) hehe..)

"am finishing masters this semester..then struggle again yaar.. U know how hard is here to find any job!!" He had left his job to continue study...

Memory reflashed!!!
"Oyee tero k garne bichaar chha yaar yehan sakechhi!!!"
" Khoi yaar maybe jagir khojchhu!!!"
" Malai ta tension bhaisakyo yaar..senior dai haaru halleko dekhera!!!.."
" Khoi yaar..pahila pass nai garaun na!!!"

Nirmaan---> Which college in Nepal you are from? I remember we used to have similar conversation back home in our college days. Senior dai haru Job ko laagi halli raako bela aafno 4th year suru bhaako thyo, we were all scared to death to come out of the college. Job paaune ki na paaune bhanera. And those who didn't find good job started Masters in Pulchowk. he he he!!

Nice one!

:-)>

How about you anon dear? Don't they inspire you? I'm sure you have tales to tell about.:)

Good luck Nirman and hope you shall continue writing.

Ardi..See u around...:)

Thnx Presiding Earthly..:)..You too keep on rolling!!!

Nails..I used to be very bg with sajha back then..Now studies and stuffs keep me bg ke..:(

Anon...Howdy?? How is down under?? Summer eh!!! and yeah I surely will blast my keybrd after exams..:oD

Texan..I think we both went to same college...Pulchowk huh!!! and those bars near football field...ah Nostalgic!!!!..:)

Flip_flop....How about u joining the writers train..:)...Will surely write later after my exams!!!

Thnx everyone,
Nirman~*

good job Nirman.

However, you've still left your another story incomplete.

http://www.sajha.com/sajha/html/OpenThread.cfm?forum=2&ThreadID=26371

And yea, "fix you" is my favorite song too.

Practicing monologue, and pushing myself into ambiguity – contradicting and contrasting with me, myself and I. I love that and I love yours.

Act 1:

Monologues are good, especially while it is meant for us, ourselves. One can not distort the genuineness of it while it is for self. When ambiguity engulfs us in to darkness and we seem to live a lie, it gives us perspective in to things. And when we read of others, it gives us vision of theirs, which many a times depicts the exactness of ours.

Monologues do not bore, for if not for many monologues how would I come in terms with my darkness? Sometimes I wonder did I give just enough or a little too much of myself to me.

It's good to hear ourselves speak to us, atypical of that general monologue. When we talk nineteen to the dozen and laugh at ourselves. When we just might get a touch too emotional and try to replenish the guilt. And then smile. I am plaintiff, prosecutor, defendant, as well as judge/jury.
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Keep it coming and I promise to keep on reading. Nice going! It's been long due.
Good luck for exams Nirman birader.

Let the path be divided and life continue, for the destination is one. The only regret is, would I be too late, or would you still wait for me? Oh well!

Another bout please!
IndisGuise:)

Thankx for the wonderful read Nirman!

P.S - When will we get to read the complete version of "Love: Unspoken" ? (SWG ma) its incomplete! :(

Thanks Gwajyo for dropping by!!!
And I didn't know that u were looking for me in that thread...:)...I will finish that story someday...Just have not got enough time...and if u r talking about LOVE: Unspoken here is link to the old thread where there is complete story!!!

Click Here--->>
Love: Unspoken

Hey Indi,
Howdy??? Long time since I had written something huh!!!...Yeah haven't really a motive to write something !! U know ain't it!!!...;)
And day before yesterday I just was too bored with the equations!!! So tried something with words..:)....And am glad that you liked it!!!...
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I am the dreamer...Let me build my castle in the air!!!...only the dream would be true if there would be someone who can make my castle breathe!!! and make it feel as a home!!!And then the castle won't be mine!!! as I would be of someone else!!! and I wouldn't have to care about me, myself anymore!!!!

Ain't it Indi???...:)

And yeah I remeber someone once telling me....
Try to face the problem, But you can't face the problem when the problem is your face!!!...:)

So long...
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Thnx LeMon for reading!!!
....And there is link above fr Love: Unspoken..Hope U will get to read whole story out there!!!...:)
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nirman,

start another version of love unspoken....just one was not enough....and my hello to all who care to post in this thread....ardent....welcome back, sajha was never the same without you and nirman....

indi...how be you....been sometime we have not replied to each other....

Continued from above.....

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The time was as usual a nepali time!!!...I waited till 10 15 but he didn't showed up!!!

Maybe I have to call him!!! I dial his number!!!

"Sorry, there is not sufficent credit to make a call!!! Please recharge to make a Call!!!" A typical student's mobile shows its existance. Frustrated I surrender my effort as a lost soldier!!!

Maybe I take a round... I roam around!!! Lights and bars...Drunk and Sobers...Sleek and Sordid!!! I see hundred faces, and I try to find myself in between them...But else I saw a familier looking face far away... But I couldn't recall of her!!! Maybe some where I have seen her!!!

I return back to our meeting point..Maybe its time for my fren to show up!!!

"Hey yaar!!!" there he is...
"So much for 10 huh!! " I try to show my anger...The clock has strucked 10 38 by now!!
"Sorry man.. was stuck with something!!!" Always the same story...But yeah he showed little earlier this time...
"Hey there is a nepali gathering around..Would u like to go??" he seemed to know everything about nepalese around!!!
"Sure, But not rite now, Lets have a drink or two!!!" I liked the to be around nepalese people But I was always afraid of fights and brawls going around there!!!

Nepalese we are...the brave fighters...But was the bravery really inside us?? What we get by fighting between ourselves..Killing our fellow countrymen...yeah!! a Revolution is needed, But can't a revolution succeed without violence...Or maybe the world is for those with guns and sins!!! Maybe I am getting too emotional over here...But Guns ain't solution..and it would never be!!!!

Nepalese were dancing everywhere around..."Chyangba hoi Chyangba" the latest craze straight from Kathmandu playing in the background...Seems like everybody were loving the vibe!!!

There I see her face...far sitting without feeling the vibe...Maybe It was the vibe she didn't like or maybe the atmosphere she was not fond of!!!

Where have I seen her..I try to recall...Maybe I should ask her!!! But Maybe I should first try to recall myself!!!

Ah!!! Voila!!! I have seen her at Bhojpur... During my work there...But amazed I am!!! How has she reached here!!! the least place I would expect someone like her to be!!!

She was a rebbelion with a cause...at least for me till now!!!


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And for everyone who don't know whom I have met in Bhojpur...Please Follow the following link:.....

Yatra Sansmaran: Yeuta Beglai Anubhuti

........................
Thanks JG for inspirations!! You too keep on writing...:)...

This much for now before I go to hybernation...Will catch you all after my exams!!!

Thanks everyone for reading!!!
.........................

Nirman~*

Curiosity you left for us! Gotta catch your other thread to find out who she was.:)

Thanks again.

Nirman, ho ni :)

Keep em coming!

A stanza that I carved in my juvenile days...

".... ask to the broken heart, has it really mend?
A depress smile would be a msg it would send." :(

A lil too cheesy I know, but that was about 8-10 years ago. LOL.

Try to face the problem, But you can't face the problem when the problem is HER face. :p How about this? J/k. Am cutting out on Sajha, at least tryin to, but before that, I do hope to read the end of this voyage. Feri 2-4 mahina lagaune hola hero le.
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John, I'm doing okay. How about thyself? And Grace? Am waiting for another round of entertaining piece from you. Also, an Italian delicacy from bhauju would be awesome. Guess how I remembered it? Coz I am having pasta myself. He he!