Hi guys,

I read through the discussions in Sajha. I appreciate how ideas are thrown back and forth to see both sides of the issues. There is something that has been on my mind for a long time. The issue I want to talk about in this platform is of homosexuality. 

First things first, I am homosexual. But contrary to what pops up in the mind of a lot people when hearing the word 'gay', I am not girly behaving. I am an average looking guy. If anyone were to interact with me or see me, they would not have a clue about my sexual orientation. However, I feel like I am done living a lie. As soon as I am done with my finals, I am breaking up with my girlfriend. I am coming out of the closet. I am thinking of confiding my sexuality to my siblings soon. I would like to tell it to my parents too but I am not sure if they will even be able to grasp the concept of 'homosexuality' without comparing me with a transexual (which I am not). 

Before any one starts off with the arguments that homosexuality is abnormal and not natural, I would like to point out a few facts. Homosexuality is found in species other than humans like bonobos, dolphins, sea horses and even fruit flies. And even if we were to consider it immoral, how does it affect the society? When two homosexuals get together, its a concensual act. No one is forcing themselves on the other person. I have the same aspirations like any other heterosexual couple. I do not want to hide my love for my partner from the society. I want to be able to live with a guy peacefully without being constantly scrutinized. 

So the question that is up for discussion is how does the current generation of Nepal feel about someone's right to love the person who is also from the same gender? I am very interested to see where this discussion goes.

Be proud of what you are, your sexuality, sthn you are comfortable with. There is no point of living behind the dark. Whatever u confessed here, that's very courageous itself. Share it with your close friends, sibblings and then parents.
All the best for your shiny truth future.

 http://sajha.com/sajha/html/index.cfm?StartRow=1&PageNum=1&threadid=89117

 I praise your audacious confession. Homosexuality is on the rise due to ever shifting perceptions of human behaviour. Some countries have legalized same sex marriage but I dont know whether it is still a social stigma back in Nepal. Being in my late 20s I prefer to put myself in 'current generation' category rather than old fashioned 'uncle generation' LOL. For me being a gay is absolutely diabolical, inhumane and morally wrong. Even animals can differenciate between vagina and anus. We are human.

Although is is more difficult said than done, we Nepalese need to stop worry about what others will think and live the way we want. There is nothing wrong in being a homosexual. I am sure you didn't choose to be homosexual.. you're born that way. So there is nothign to be ashamed about. It might be diffucult to come out to your parents than your siblings, I am sure they will understand if you explain to them in detail.

Good luck.

 @cubias:   Its your life do what you gotta do. whats the deal with you gf anyway?You gotta girl now but you would  prefer a boy instead?....Dude thats real "gay".

Dude:
Homosexualy is mental problem. I suggest you to live normal life, ( in jail anybody can be Homosexual lack of other option of having sex) , if u do not love yr girl friend change her, keep banging both man n women but do not mess your life declaring guy. It is senseless to declare, u can enjoy with male friend keping secret, What the meaning if two guy can not reproduce another life ? Fuuk n enjoy w/ friend

 Thank you guys for the support and I appreicate the comments that are being presented as counter arguments. But for guys who do not understand my point of view,  think how you would feel if you lived in a world where homosexuality was the norm and heterosexuality was frowned upon. Would you train you brain to like boys just becaues you could get the approval of the society or would you go ahead with your sexual orientation?

Also another question for people who are voicing their opinions agianst homosexuality - how does two people being gay affect you? In what ways? Again, I am just picking your brain on this one too.

In response to the comments and questions that have been posted above, Hamer's study has shown that homosexuality is linked to X2q region in X chromosome of humans. If you are interested to learn more about it, go through the Hamer's study. Also read the counter arguments that were made against Hamer's study and again read the argument that Hamer made against the people that questioned his study. Also how would you respond to the arguments like increased volume of INAH3 regions of homosexuals contrary to heterosexuals. There are biological evidence that points out the fact that contruction of homosexual brain is not the same as that of hetermosexuals. This leads to the conclusion that being 'gay' has to do with biology and genetics. The idea of 'genetics' chimes in because if a person is gay, the likelihood of his uncles and nephews (from mother's side) being gay will be higher too (if you are interested in why only maternal side of the family shows inheritence of homosexuality, read about X-linked inheritence). So, when homosexuality is termed as a mental problem, it only shows ignorance or the fact that you have not really done your research. Its completely sad to see homosexuality from a mentally ill paradigm. When the American psychiatric association does not see it as a disease, its of utter importance to present arguments that are compelling to even make that statement. However, this is just how I feel about it. 

I am sure there are guys who know more about homosexuality than I do. Post your agruments for or against it. Let's discuss about this and see where this takes us.

PS: lets try to keep our language less offensive and more scholarly. Let's make this thread a mentally titillating thread rather than verbally abusive one. Thank you!




  

 Cubias,
  You have a guts to come out of closet and i appreciate that. Are you really homosexual ? How do you know that? Have you ever been with men?  You can lead your life the way you want to but there will be consequences. So be prepared. If you live in this country (some big cities) it wont be a problem. But if you live in Nepal, its still unimaginable. However, the choice is yours. 
  As far as my view on homosexuality is concerned, I think its natural that out of millions of people born some will be born homosexual. As we can find people in nepal with really blond hair, or different eye color, or other physical and inner characteristics that are not normal to nepali population it is everyway possible to be born with desire for being with men rather than women.
 And if it is unnatural (which i don't believe), it is your right to do what you want, until you harm somebody. There are lots of unnatural things we do. Like watch TV or ride a car or be in a airplane or other lots of things. Humans have constantly evolve and it will continue to do so............

" Homosexuality is found in species other than humans like bonobos, dolphins, sea horses and even fruit flies"


I'm curious if  there are  mammals that show homosexuality.

It's hard to imagine a fruit fly being homosexual.

Sexual reproduction by definition requires a male and a female so homosexual intercourse does sound a bit odd. I don't think nature intended for intercourse via the anal passageway. No offense but i think homosexuality is a man made natural distortion.

Sorry for being explicit but when nature intended the penis to be glided into the slippery vagina, why would anyone want to take the dirt road, specifically when it doesn't even serve any reproductive functions.

I fully support your right to live your life the way you want to but personally it just doesn't seem like a natural thing.

We live in a very weird world today. There are people who get turned on by eating faeces (Bukkake) and we have to respect their right to do so among people who enjoy doing it. Similarly I respect homosexuals right to do their own thing. It does not make them any less human just because they do things differently than majority of human beings.

 Rethink,

Thanks for the post. In response to your questions, dolphin is a mammal and so it bonobo. 

And about fruitflies being homosexual, I know it for a fact because I am doing my senior research on the homosexual nature of fruitflies. So, quote me on that. :P

But thanks for your point of view and I get it how it could sound not natural to you. Unless you are really in the shoes of a homosexual you will not be able to see it as natural. Futher with the fear of sounding self contradictory (a bit), I find hard to wrap my head around bisexuals. But then I am doing my research on it. Hopefully, it will start to make sense to me. 

Just did a google search and it turns out science actually has a good answer on the existence of homosexuality.

"ScienceDaily (July 8, 2010) — The mammalian fucose mutarotase enzyme is known to be involved in incorporating the sugar fucose into protein. Female mice that lack the fucose mutarotase (FucM) gene refuse to let males mount them, and will attempt copulation with other female mice." http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/07/100708071619.htm

Turns our that females lacking in estrogen, or having higher testosterone feel like males hence they are attracted to females, turning them into lesbians.

Males with low levels of testerones and/or higher estrogen levels have tendency to show female characteristics including attraction to males, hence they could form homosexuals union with other males.

On a related topic, it is good that science has plausible answers that can get tested out and proven. If it were upto the religious fanatics and fundamendalists, they would probably have different opinions -
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1163510/All-homosexuals-stoned-death-says-Muslim-preacher-hate.html
http://www.nbcphiladelphia.com/news/local/Man-70-Stoned-to-Death-for-Homosexuality-Police-118243719.html

Stay safe and stay happy!

Rethink,

I am glad you were able to see the biology behind it. I think this trumps the idea that homosexuality is choice which has been implicitly implied in some of the aforementioned comments (not yours). 

Again, thanks!

 lovetosuggest,

Sorry I missed your question before. In response to how do I know I was homosexual, I knew it like you knew you were heterosexual. For you girls might get the bells and whistles blowing, for me its a guy. And having said that, like guys have preference when it comes to girls, I have my type of guy too. I do not prey on any guy who walks on the face of the earth . 

First thing,   In Nepal more and more people  who are homosexual should come out and admit it. Only then it becomes more accpetable. 

I remember in UK , more and more celebrity and known faces are encouraged to come out and talk about their sexuality so that it becomes a normal and more acceptable. I recently remember ,  england and surrey wicketkeeper  Steven Davies coming out and admiting he was gay.  There was no need for him to come out and say that. But he did it for the acceptance of homosexual.


Another, thing i must add it,  Every person be it man or woman are somewhat bisexual in nature. However, in most of the people Heterosexual behaviour far outweighs homosexual nature.    In home sexual it is vice versa.  In bisexual person both of this behaviour remains in almost equal amount.


To judge somebody purely he/she is a gay is wrong.  Everyday you meet several people but you would not realize that some of them might be gay. Being gay is just a case of preference which nature has given you . So just be proud of who you are . Being gay does not even mean that you can't be best in your business. After all people like George Michael, Elton John,  Martina Navratilova are never judged because of their sexuality.

 I was on the phone with my mom back in Nepal and asked her what she would do if I liked a guy instead of girl (just to se what she would say).. she actally freaked out for a sec.... 

Dude.. I am sure you're parents will freak out too... 

Being guy is a taboo in Nepal. Good luck coming out to your parents!

 Lol... Its funny... but then my line probably will be, " You guys (meaning my parents) fought so much over the years that now I have lost all faith in heterosexuality. Therefore, I am going gay and trying out a new avenue." But of course, this is a joke. I am not going to say it to them. 

In all seriousness, I am not sure how my parents will react. I know for a fact that my siblings will be able to take it. They are very progressive in the way they think. 

 LOL you said you are not going to tell your parents why? because you know you are doing something wrong. You know your diabolical act of being gay gonna hurt your parents' feelings. You know you are bringing bad name and shame to your family.you know you are seriously threatening your parents' integrity in a society. You know the sky is falling upon them once your parents happen to know your gayness or sexual orientation (sounds less filthy than you are) LOL. 

Homosexual behavior not only seriously harms homosexuals individually, it harms society also. Let's start by looking at the health of people who engage in homosexual behavior:

People who practice homosexuality experience higher rates of many diseases, including:

Human Papillomavirus (HPV)
Hepatitis A, B and C
Gonorrhea
Syphillis
Gay Bowel syndrome
HIV/AIDS
Bacterial vaginosis

People who practice homosexuality have higher rates of:

Alcohol abuse
Drug abuse
Nicotine dependence
Depression
Suicide
Domestic violence (20 times more common than among heterosexuals)

Ah, but maybe these problems are the result of society's discrimination against homosexual people. Not true. If we look at places in which homosexuality is accepted, such as The Netherlands (gay marriage is legal there) and San Fransisco, we find that the greater the acceptance of homosexual behavior, the higher the rate of the above negative consequences. Accepting homosexual behavior makes it worse!

What about the effect of homosexual behavior on society?

In addition to a domestic violence rate that is 20 times higher than among heterosexuals, these are some of the negative effects homosexuality has on society:

Higher rates of child molestation*
(Nearly 1/3 of the child abuse cases are homosexual in nature, and homosexuals are only 3% of the population.)

Daughters of lesbian "parents" are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and experience the consequences of that behavior.

In areas in which homosexual marriage has become accepted (The Netherlands and areas of Scandinavia, for example), the fundamental building block of society--the family--has fallen apart. In some of these areas as many as 80% of the children are born outside of a family.

Children of homosexual "parents" do the worst in 9 of 13 acedemic categories when compared with both married heterosexual couples and cohabitating couples.

Homosexual behavior is linked with higher rates of promiscuity, physical disease, mental illness, substance abuse, child sexual abuse and domestic violence--all things that impact society negatively. Don't try to say homosexual behavior doesn't hurt society--it is a major force that tears down society and harms children.

 rethink, "Sorry for being explicit but when nature intended the penis to be glided into the slippery vagina, why would anyone want to take the dirt road, specifically when it doesn't even serve any reproductive functions." Jesus, you make me laugh. I think this is the bottom line of this thread. 'Single shot, but all dead'.

I don't agree most of the things that Georgian satellite says.


The fact that homosexual people specially nepalese are scared to tell their parents about their sexuality has nothing to do with being wrong. Its not wrong. its just against the norm.   Parents are not used to it in nepal.


Being homosexual and being peodophile is completely different thing. Please don't mix it.  Being peodophile is being downright crime and nothing to do with being gay or heterosexual.   And if you think many people from homosexual background goes on to have sex crimes than probably solution again boils down to social acceptance.   If they are not ostracized and readily accpeted like any others may be they don't have to pour sexual frustration in something else.

And by the way you say homosexual is wrong.  What  is your solution?  PUT THEM IN JAIL.  Beat them.  Or wait till their parents, relatives forcefully marries them to some innocent girl and ruin the life of the girl.   Or is it better for them to find their ideall homosexual partner and live their  life happily without ruining the life of a girl.

I feel  pity for the thinking of so called learned people like Georgian satellite here in sajha.  Imagine if you were born with some sort of learning disability or mental problem. Everybody ostracize you , nobody treats you normally.  How would you feel to be treated for something which you have no control at all/  being homosexual has nothing to do how a person is .  A homosexual person can be everywhere in your daily life, work place. You would not even know.   They can be your good friend, wellwisher .  So can you say being homosexual wrong.   Imagine if you were born a transgender.  Do you feel very happy the way nepali samaj treats you?