Rumsfeld is reporting to the President and the Cabinet.

He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."

The President says, "Oh, my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.

The entire Cabinet is stunned. Usually Bush shows no reaction
whatsoever to these reports.


Just then, Bush looks up and says, "How many is a brazilian??

Hehehe, very very funny!!!

should we start to laugh or there is more to say.


hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa

Talking about Bush, here is an old one for those who have not heard of this.

G. W. Bush was very depressed that people were saying he is stupid. So he calls his good friend Queen Elizabeth, who says, "Now George, what you need to do is to surround yourself with smart people. Let me show you." She conference calls Tony Blair in and asks, "Tony, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" Tony Blair replies, "It's me!" and hangs up. G.W. Bush then calls Dick Cheney and says, "Dick, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Cheney says, "Wow, that's a tough one. Let me get back to you." So Cheney calls Colin Powell and says, "Colin, your parents had a baby. It isn't your sister and it isn't your brother. Who is it?" And Colin Powell says, "It's me!" So Cheney calls Bush and says, "It's Colin Powell." And Bush says, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn't that Bush and Powell sitting over there?" The bartender says, "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We're planning WWIII. And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman!!! Why kill a bicycle repairman?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, dummy! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"

Fuzzy about Numbers: When a reporter asked Bush what he thought about his first hundred days in office he replied "Has it been a year already?

Coincidence or Medical Miracle?: The discovery that Bush's resting heart rate is 43 has led some observers to speculate that this is the first time we've had a president with a heart rate that matches his IQ.

The Golf Between Reality and Fantasy: What do golf and Florida elections have in common? Low score wins.

Day in Hell: A group of Texans are driving down the road, whooping it up, drinking beer and shooting off their guns when they get into an accident with busload of nuns and orphans, killing everyone. The Texans go straight to Hell. When they arrive the Devil is shocked to see that they are not in agony over the heat and he demands an explanation.


"Well, sir, we're from Texas, and we're used to the heat," says one. This infuriates the Devil and he cranks the thermostat up to its highest setting. The lost souls all over hell start wailing. "I'll check on them in the morning and see how they like THIS." He snorts and disappears in a ball of fire.


The next morning, the Devil shows up at the Texans' camp site, and sure enough they are showing some signs of discomfort. They have taken off their 10 Gallon hats and are fanning themselves. One has even rolled up his sleeves. "Well, sir," explains a Texan, "when you have been on a cattle drive in Lubbock during August, this ain't hardly nothing." The Devil is now so angry he is seeing red.


"Those damn Texans seem immune to heat, let 's see what happens when I turn OFF the heat," he says as he heads to the thermostat. "I'll check on them tomorrow."
So in the morning the Devil arrives at the Texans' campsite, and they are all whoopin' and hollerin' and drinkin' the beers from the ice chest in the back of the pick up, now that they have ice to chill them with. The wail of the lost souls is deafening but the Texans are partyin' like there is no tomorrow.


"I don't get it," the Devil says, completely defeated. "I tried to roast you and it had no effect, and then I tried to freeze you and you are partying. You Texans are made of tough stuff. But why are you celebrating?"


A Texan takes a swig from a Bud in a longneck and replies, "Look around! Hell is frozen over. That's just gotta mean there is another Bush in the White House."

Artificial intelligence: A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working.

"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"

She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.

She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying "On The Road Again" when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attentionto the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision.

"Idiot!" she yelled and, from the radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."

From the mouth of babes: Asked by his teacher to compare three presidents Johnny thought for a moment and said: "Well, George Washington couldn't tell a lie. Richard Nixon couldn't tell the truth. And George W. Bush can't tell the difference."

On the Road: Bill Clinton, George Bush, a spectacular looking blonde woman and an enormously large woman with an unfriendly scowl are in a train car. The train passes through a tunnel, and in the darkness the unmistakable sound of a slap is heard. As the train pulls out of the tunnel, the daylight reveals a big red slap mark on Clinton's cheek.


The blond thinks: "That rascal Clinton wanted to touch me and by mistake, he must have put his hand on the fat lady, who must have slapped his face"


The fat lady thinks: "That dirty old Bill Clinton touched the blonde and she smacked him."


Bill Clinton thinks: "George put his hand on that blonde and by mistake she slapped me."


George Bush thinks: "I hope there's another tunnel soon so I can smack Clinton again."

Defending the Honor of Texas: A man walked into a cowboy bar and ordered a beer just as President Bush appeared on the television. After a few sips, he looked up at the television and mumbled, "Now, there's the biggest horse's ass I've ever seen." A customer at the end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and decked him. A few minutes later, as the man was finishing his beer, Mrs. Bush appeared on the television. "She's a horse's ass too," the man. This time, a customer at the other end of the bar quickly stood up, walked over to him, and knocked him off his stool. "Damn it!" the man said, climbing back up to the bar. "This must be Bush country!" "Nope," the bartender replied. "Horse country!"

Ancient Republican Proverb: Teach a man to light a fire and he will be warm forever. But throw him into the fire and he will never again complain about being cold.

Sharks: 3 Sharks meet in the ocean. They talk about the people they recently have eaten. The first one says: I swallowed the Ayatollah yesterday, but the guy had eaten so much garlic I still feel sick. The second shark says: That's nothing pal! I swallowed Boris Jelzin last week and the old guy had so much vodka in him that I'm still drunk. The 3rd shark laughs and said: You lucky guys! I swallowed George W. Bush 3 weeks ago and the guy has so much air in his head, I still can't dive!

Records, meant to be broken: His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"



Brothers: Three brothers Neil, Jeb and Dub, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here", says Neil, "It's Obidiah Jones' grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing", says Jeb, "here's one named Butch Smith. It says here that he was 95 when he died."

Just then, Dub yells out, "But here's a fella that died when he was 145 years old!"

"What was his name?" asks Neil.

Dub lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Austin."

Active learning: George Bush and George Bush were dragging the deer they had just shot back to their truck. Another hunter approached, pulling his along, too.

"Sirs, I don't want to tell you how to do something," he said, " But I can tell you that it's much easier if you drag the deer the other way. Then the antlers won't dig into the ground."

After the third hunter left, they decided to try it. A little while later George said to George, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"

"Yeah," says George, "but we're getting farther from the truck."

Genie: A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney."

Puzzling: Cheney gets a call from his "boss", W.


"I've got a problem," says W.


"What's the matter?" asks Cheney.


"Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."


"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney.


"A big rooster," replies W.


"All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look."


So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. W points at the jigsaw on his desk.


Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to W and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box."

Leadership: While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they're intelligent.


"I do so by asking them the right questions," says the Queen."Allow me to demonstrate."


She phones Tony Blair and says, "Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?"


Tony Blair responds ,"It¹s me, ma'am."


"Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir," says the Queen. She hangs up and says, "Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"


"Yes ma'am. Thanks a lot. I¹ll definitely be using that!"


Upon returning to Washington, he decides he¹d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, "Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me."


"Why, of course, sir. What¹s on your mind?"


"Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"


Helms hems and haws and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back to you?"


Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. He immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.


"Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"


Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course, you dumb cracker."


Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's Colin Powell!"


And Bush replies in disgust, "Wrong, you dumb shit, it's Tony Blair!"

After the Revolution: The far right extremists of FreeRepublic.com, WSJ.com, Nazi.com, and KKK.com finally get it together and overthrow the government. Then they start rounding up politicians to execute. A firing squad is convened and Al Gore, Bill Clinton and George W. Bush are all marched to a wall to be shot. As the right wing nuts are loading their guns Al Gore thinks, "I've got to cause a diversion so I can get away." He yells "Oh, no. A TORNADO" and points behind the firing squad. As the ultraconservative fruitcakes turn around to see if there is a tornado approaching, Al Gore jumps over the wall behind him and runs away. The firing squad turns their attention back to the two men who are left. Clinton quickly observes how well Gore's ruse has worked and yells "EARTHQUAKE". As the firing squad frantically looks for a place to take cover Clinton jumps over the wall and he too escapes. The firing squad resumes their stance and proceeds to take aim at George W. Bush. Dubya, believing that he, too, can create a diversion, frantically searches his mind for another natural disaster to use. Smiling to himself, he yells "FIRE".

Flies: As Governor, Bush got to ceremonially act as a state trooper for a day. While operating a speed trap Bush pulled over a Texas farmer. He lectured the farmer about his speed and the necessity of obeying laws made by his superiors, and in general threw his weight around. Finally, he got around to writing the ticket, and as he was doing so he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The farmer said, "Having some problems with circle flies there, are ya, Sir?" Bush stopped writing the ticket and said, "Well yeah, if that's what they are -- I never heard of circle flies." So the farmer says, "Well, circle flies are common on farms. See, they're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of horses." Bush says, "Oh," and goes back to writing the ticket. After a minute he stops and slowly says, "Hey... wait a minute, are you trying to call me a horse's ass?" The farmer says, "Oh no, Governor, I have too much respect for you to even think about calling you a horse's ass." Grinning broadly, Bush says, "Well, that's a good thing," and goes back to writing the ticket. After a long pause, the farmer says, "Hard to fool them flies though."

Baloon Ride: George W. Bush takes his fancy new hot air balloon out for a ride. After soaring over the country side for an hour he realizes he is lost. After spotting a young girl on a farm below he descended and shouted, "Hey little girl, can you help me? I promised a friend an hour ago I would meet him, but I don't know where I am." The young girl replies, "You are in a hot air balloon over my daddy's corn field making a racket and scaring the chickens!" Peeved, Bush says, "Your daddy must be a Democrat." "He is," says the girl, "but how did you know that?""Well," answers Bush, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I still have no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I am still lost. You aren't being much help." The girl below responds, "You must be a Republican." "I am," replies Bush, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the girl, "You're way up there full of hot air looking down on the world, you don't know where you're at and you don't know where you're going. You promised something to somebody you can't deliver on, and you were in this spot before we met but somehow your predicament is all my fault."

Faking it: George W. was asked what he thought about Roe v. Wade. He said he thought it was just about the most important decision George Washington had to make before crossing the Delaware.

Fuzzy math: Bob Packwood, Dick Cheney and George Dubya Bush go into a bar. Packwood orders first. "I'll have a B and C." The bartender asks, "What is a B and C?" "Bourbon and Coke," Packwood says. Cheney orders. "And, I'll have a G and T." The bartender asks, "What's a G and T?" "Gin and tonic," Cheney replies. Dubya wants to be cute, too. He says, "I'll have a 15." “OK,” the bartender asks, "What's a 15?" Dubya says, "A 7 and 7."

Teach your children:A first grade teacher in the Midwestis explaining to her class that she is a Republican and how nice it is that a new Republican president has taken office. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Republicans and support George Bush. Everyone in class raises their hands except one little girl. "Mary," says the teacher with surprise, "why didn't you raise your hand?" Because I'm not a Republican," says Mary. "Well, what are you?" asks the teacher. "I'm a Democrat and proud of it," replies the little girl. The teacher cannot believe her ears. "My goodness, Mary, why are you a Democrat?" she asks. “Well, my momma and papa are Democrats, so I'm a Democrat, too." "Well," says the teacher in an annoyed tone, "that's no reason for you to be a Democrat. You don't always have to be like your parents. What if your momma was a criminal and your papa was a criminal, too, what would you be then?" "Then," Mary smiled, "then we'd be Republicans."
Count the Votes (as adapted by Enrique Montoya of Santa Fe): George W. Bush, John Ashcroft, and Kathrine Harris go fishing on the lake by George W.'s ranch. While speeding across the lake they hit a tree trunk which cracks a hole in the bottom of the boat. The boat starts to sink so they look for life preservers and find only one. George W. Bush says: "I'm the President selected by the Supreme Court. The people need me to protect the nation from the new world order and the growth of the new economy and computers and such." John Ashcroft says: "I'm the Attorney General and as the nations's chief law enforcement officer I must live so that there will be no fear or panic in the streets, if you two shall die. And besides I have to outlaw abortion, affirmative action, campaign finance reform, environmental protection, and same sex marriages to save the moral fiber of this country." Finally, Kathrine Harris says: "I'm the Florida Secretary of State and the state Republican Chairwoman, and I must survive so that I can deliver the votes needed by all the Republican officials throughout the state, and disenfranchise those minorities who vote for Democrats, so that Republicans may continue to be elected even though more people vote for Democrats." And the three of them all agree that each has very good and moral arguments for the life preserver, so that they decide the only fair way to decide is by a vote. They cut up three squares of paper and vote by secret ballot. Then they open the ballots to tally them. The first ballot says "George W. Bush - one vote," the second ballot says "John Ashcroft - one vote", and the third ballot says "Kathryn Harris - 37 votes."

Proof: (Thanks to CR Drapes) George W. Bush, Albert Einstein and Pablo Picasso have all died. Due to a glitch in the mundane/celestial time-space continuum, all three arrive at the Pearly Gates more or less simultaneously, even though their deaths have taken place decades apart. The first to present himself to Saint Peter is Einstein. Saint Peter questions him. "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths certain people will go to, to sneak into Heaven under false pretenses. Can you prove who you really are?" Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?" Saint Peter complies with a snap of his fingers. The blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his special theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really are Einstein! Welcome to heaven! The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again Saint Peter asks for his credentials. Picasso doesn't hesitate. "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?" Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's scribbles and proceeds to sketch out a truly stunning mural. Bulls, satyrs, nude women: he captures their essences with but a few strokes of the chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be! Come on in!" The last to arrive is George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head. "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?" George W. looks bewildered, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?" Saint Peter sighs, "Come on in, George."
Growing Up: (Thanks to Joseph Henry from California!)
George w. Bush is out jogging one morning, notices a little boy on the corner with a box.
Curious, he runs over to the child and says, "What's in the box kid?"
The little boy says, "Kittens, they're brand new kittens."
George W. laughs and says, "What kind of kittens are they?"
"Republicans," the child says.
"Oh that's cute," George W. says and he runs off.
A couple of days later George is running with his buddy Dick Cheney and he spies the same boy with his box just ahead.
George W. says to Dick, "You gotta check this out" and they both jog over to the boy with the box.
George W. says, "Look in the box Dick, isn't that cute? Look at those little kittens. Hey kid tell my friend Dick what kind of kittens they are."
The boy replies, "They're Democrats."
"Whoa!", George W. says, "I came by here the other day and you said they were Republicans. What's up?"
"Well," the kid says, "Their eyes are open now"

Dead Presidents: On one of his first nights in the White House, Dubya is awakened by the ghost of George Washington. Bush is frightened, but asks: "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Washington advises him: "Be honest above all else and set an honorable example, just as I did." This makes Bush uncomfortable, but he manages to get back to sleep. The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. "Tom," Dubya asks, "what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Jefferson replies, "Throw away your prepared remarks and speak eloquently and extemporaneously from your heart," Jefferson advises. Bush isn't sleeping well at all the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost and Dubya thinks finally, a Republican, I'll get some advice that I can use. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks hopefully. Abe answers: "Go see a play."

Post Turtle: A country doctor is suturing a laceration on the hand of an old farmer. Old man: "All you need to know about politics is that young Bush is a post turtle." Doctor: "Oh? What is a post turtle?" Old man: "When yer driving down a country road, and ya come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on top? That's a post turtle. Ya know he didn't get there by himself, he don't belong there, he cain't get anything done while he's up there, and you just want to help take the poor thang down."

Rats: A tourist walks into a curio shop in San Francisco. Looking around at the exotica, he notices a very lifelike life-sized bronze statue of a rat. It has no price tag, but is so striking he decides he must have it. He takes it to the owner: "How much for the bronze rat?" "$12 for the rat, $100 for the story," says the owner. The tourist gives the man $12. "I'll just take the rat, you can keep the story." As he walks down the street carrying his bronze rat, he notices that a few real rats have crawled out of the alleys and sewers and begun following him down the street. This is disconcerting, and he begins walking faster. But within a couple of blocks, the herd of rats behind him has grown to hundreds, and they begin squealing. He begins to trot toward the Bay, looking around to see that the rats now number in the MILLIONS, and are squealing and coming toward him faster and faster. Concerned, even scared, he runs to the edge of the Bay, and throws the bronze rat as far out into the water as he can. Amazingly, the millions of rats all jump into the Bay after it, and are all drowned. The man walks back to the curio shop. "Ah ha," says the owner, "you have come back for the story?" "No," says the man, "I came back to see if you have a bronze Republican."

one more

one more

==

one more

here is me

yep...he makes me cry too!!!

Very funny twanke...keep coming..

hehehehehehe

here's more
"Bush fell off his bike while mountain biking on his ranch over the weekend. He hit a rough spot in the trail. There's a switch — the environment hurting Bush." —Jay Leno

"President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike." —Jay Leno

"You know what really makes this embarrassing? The other day the president said the leaders in Iraq are 'ready to take off the training wheels.' That's what he said, 'take off the training wheels.' Then he goes out and falls off his bicycle. And they wonder why the rest of the world doesn't take us seriously." —Jay Leno

here is what Bush is in real. The reality:

No Time to Think

"The other thing, it turns out, in this job you've got a lot on your plate on a regular basis, you don't have much time to sit around and wander, lonely, in the Oval Office, kind of asking different portraits, how do you think my standing will be?"
—Bush pondering how history may view him. (White House "President's Press Conference", March 16, 2005)

"So for the students here, take heart in this concept. He gets a Ph.D. I get Cs. I'm the President and he's the advisor."
—While discussing Social Security on a college campus, Bush makes note of the education gap between himself and a professor/advisor to the administration. (White House, "President Discusses Strengthening Social Security in Iowa", March 30, 2005)

"I repeat, personal accounts do not permanently fix the solution."
—A glimmer of truth, however confused, from Bush on Social Security. (White House, "President's Press Conference", March 16, 2005)

Post-Election Bravado

"Because he's hiding…"
—Bush, explaining why Osama bin Laden has yet to be captured. (Washington Post interview, Jan. 16, 2005)

"It's okay to correct the president - just not in front of all the TV cameras."
—Bush, speaking at the White House Economic Conference, after being corrected by a participant, Dec. 15, 2004.

"Well, I quit drinking in '86."
—Bush, when asked whether, as he embarked on his second four-year term, he saw ghosts of past presidents. (C-SPAN interview, Jan. 30, 2005)

"With the campaign over, Americans are expecting a bipartisan effort and results. I'll reach out to everyone who shares our goals."
—In Bush's first press conference after the election on Nov. 4, 2004.

"Now that I've got the will of the people at my back, I'm going to start enforcing the one-question rule."
"Again, he violated the one-question rule right off the bat. Obviously you didn't listen to the will of the people."
—Laying down the law at the post-election press conference, Nov. 4, 2004.

"I always jest to people, the Oval Office is the kind of place for people standing outside--they're getting ready to come in and tell me what for, and they walk in and get overwhelmed by the atmosphere, and they say, 'Man, you're looking pretty.'"
—Explaining to reporters at the post-election press conference (Nov. 4, 2004) that people forget their political agendas when meeting him in the White House.

"I was impressed every day by how hard and how skillful our team was."
—In Bush's victory speech on Nov. 3, 2004

2004 Campaign Gems

"We will stand up for terror. We will stand up for freedom."
—Bush, speaking on the campaign trail, Oct. 18, 2004, in Marlton, N.J.

"Gosh, I just don't think I ever said I'm not worried about Osama bin Laden. It's kind of one of those exaggerations."
—Bush, during the final presidential debate, attempting to refute Kerry’s claim that the president boasted he was not concerned about Osama bin Laden.

"So I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him... We haven't heard much from him. And I wouldn't necessarily say he's at the center of any command structure. And, again, I don't know where he is. I- I'll repeat what I said. I truly am not that concerned about him."
—Bush, answering a question about Osama bin Laden at a March 13, 2002 news conference.

"After standing on the stage, after the debates, I made it very plain, we will not have an all-volunteer army. And yet, this week— we will have an all-volunteer army. Let me restate that."
—Bush, showing signs of confusion (yet again) at an Oct. 16, 2004, campaign stop in Daytona Beach.

"The truth of that matter is, if you listen carefully, Saddam would still be in power if he were president of the United States, and we’d be a lot better off."
—Bush at the second presidential debate in St. Louis, Oct. 8, 2004.

"And as a result of the United States military, Taliban no longer is in existence."
—Bush, demonstrating a weak grasp on reality at a campaign stop in Springfield, Ohio on Sept. 27, 2004.

"Free societies are hopeful societies. And free societies will be allies against these hateful few who have no conscience, who kill at the whim of a hat …"
—Bush, mixing metaphors at a Victory 2004 Luncheon in Washington, D.C. on Sept. 17, 2004.

"We're now saying, democracy must flourish. And as I recall from my history, it took us quite a while here in the United States, but nevertheless we are making progress."
—Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraq's transformation to democracy

"The recession started upon my arrival. It could have been some say February, some say March, some speculate maybe earlier it started, but nevertheless it happened as we showed up here."
—Bush, in the same interview, discussing the economy

"I don't speak ill of anybody in the process here. I think if you went back and looked at my comments, you will see I don't attack."
—Bush, in the same interview. (The Washington Post reported on Feb. 20 that the Bush re-election campaign will spend "tens of millions of dollars" on a negative ad campaign focusing on the likely Democratic nominee, Sen. John Kerry.)
A President in Denial

"It reads like a mystery, a novel. It's well written."
—W., assessing the 9/11 Commission's report, to an AP reporter in Crawford, Texas, July 26, 2004.

"No one wants to be the war president. I want to be the peace president."
—Bush, talking to about 1,000 supporters at Kirkwood Community College in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, July 21, 2004.

"A new Iraq will also need a humane, well-supervised prison system."
—Bush, speaking at Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004

"Iraq is free of rape rooms and torture chambers."
—Bush, remarks to 2003 Republican National Committee Presidential Gala, Oct. 8, 2003

"One thing is for certain: There won't be any more mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms."
—Bush, press availability in Monterrey, Mexico, Jan. 12, 2004

"Saddam Hussein now sits in a prison cell, and Iraqi men and women are no longer carried to torture chambers and rape rooms."
—Bush, remarks on "Winston Churchill and the War on Terror," Feb. 4, 2004

"Every woman in Iraq is better off because the rape rooms and torture chambers of Saddam Hussein are forever closed."
—Bush, remarks on "Efforts to Globally Promote Women's Human Rights," March 12, 2004

"Our military is performing brilliantly. See, the transition from torture chambers and rape rooms and mass graves and fear of authority is a tough transition. And they're doing the good work of keeping this country stabilized as a political process unfolds."
—Bush, remarks on "Tax Relief and the Economy," Iowa, April 15, 2004

"We acted, and there are no longer mass graves and torture rooms and rape rooms in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks at Victory 2004 Reception, Florida, April 23, 2004

"A year ago, I did give the speech from the carrier, saying that we had achieved an important objective, that we'd accomplished a mission, which was the removal of Saddam Hussein. And as a result, there are no longer torture chambers or rape rooms or mass graves in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks in the Rose Garden, April 30, 2004

"Because we acted, torture rooms are closed, rape rooms no longer exist, mass graves are no longer a possibility in Iraq."
—Bush, remarks at "Ask President Bush" event, Michigan, May 3, 2004
Fun With Malapropisms

"Oftentimes, we live in a processed world—you know, people focus on the process and not results."
—Bush, speaking on the Middle East peace process
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

"It's important for [the United Nations'] words to mean what they say, and as we head into the 21st century, Mark, when it comes to our security, we really don't need anybody's permission."
—Bush, during a press conference in 2003 (in the 21st century)
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George Bush Discusses Iraq in National Press Conference," March 6, 2003

"Columbia carried in its payroll classroom experiments from some of our students in America."
Source: The Washington Post, "With Edwards, White House Shows First-Strike Capability," Dana Milbank, Feb. 11, 2003


"Should any Iraqi officer or soldier receive an order from Saddam Hussein ... don't follow that order. Because if you choose to do so, when Iraq is liberated, you will be treated, tried and persecuted as a war criminal."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Taking Action to Strengthen Small Business Remarks by the President on the Economy," Jan. 22, 2003


"The law I sign today directs new funds and new focus to the task of collecting vital intelligence on terrorist threats and on weapons of mass production."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Signs 911 Commission Bill," Nov. 27, 2002


"Corporate malfeance [sic] has had an effect on our economy and we need to do something about it."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Rally at Oakland County Airport," Oct. 14, 2002


"Speaking about barbaric regimes, we must deal with probably one of the most—not probably—one of the most real threats we face, and that is the idea of a barbaric regime teaming up with a terrorist network and providing weapons of mass destruction to hold the United States and our allies and our friends blackmail."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Alexander for Senate Luncheon," Sept. 17, 2002
Bush's Inner Wordsmith

"This is a Shia fella."
—Bush, in a "Meet the Press" interview shown Sunday, Feb. 8, 2004, discussing Iraqi religious plurality

"A free, peaceful Zimbabwe has got the capacity to deliver a lot of goods and services which are needed on this continent in order to help aleve suffering."
—Bush, making a plug for "Aleve" pain reliever in speaking about alleviating suffering in Africa
Source: The White House, "President Bush Discusses U.S.-Africa Partnership from South Africa, Press Availability with President Bush and President Mbeki of South Africa," July 9, 2003

"I used the expression 'ride herd.' I don't know if anybody understood the meaning. It's a little informal in diplomatic terms. I said, we're going to put a guy on the ground to ride herd on the process. See them all scratching their heads."
—Bush, realizing few people understand him when he speaks
Source: New York Times, "The President's Trip, In the President's Words: 'A Mutual Desire to Work Toward the Vision," June 5, 2003

"We've had a great weekend here in the land of the enchanted."
—Bush, referring to New Mexico, "The Land of Enchantment"
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Jobs and Growth in Albuquerque," May 12, 2003

"These people don't have tanks. They don't have ships. They hide in caves. They send suiciders out."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush At Welcome Rally," Nov. 1, 2002


"A lame duck session, for people who don't know what that means, it means the Senate is coming and the House is coming back between now and Christmas and they've got a few days to get some big things done."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002


"We hold dear what our Declaration of Independence says, that all have got uninalienable rights, endowed by a Creator."
Source: The New York Times, "Reporter's Notebook; Skipping Borders, Tripping Diction," David E. Sanger, May 28, 2002
Grammar: Bush's Foe

"We're spending money on clean coal technology. Do you realize we've got 250 million years of coal?"
—Washington, D.C., June 8, 2005


"I really appreciate the hardworking staff—the docs, the nurses, the people who make this fantastic facility operate in a way that makes me pride, and in a way that will make every American proud when they learn your story. "
—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 18, 2003

"Education belongs to everybody. High standards belongs to everybody."
Source: White House speech, Oct. 2, 2003

"The other issue regarding health care is whether or not health care is affordable and available. And one reason it's not in certain communities is because there is (sic) too many lawsuits."
Source: White House, "President Discusses Tax Relief in Minnesota: Remarks by the President on the Economy," June 19, 2003


"The proposal we've proposed will save him nearly $2,400 every year."
—Bush, in another display of the depth and breadth of his language skills
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "President Bush Speaks to the Tax Relief Coalition, U.S. Chamber of Commerce," May 6, 2003

"Maybe between the time I left Camp David and here I'll learn more."
—Bush, speaking to reporters after returning from Camp David
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Remarks on Returning From Camp David, Maryland, and an Exchange with Reporters," March 23, 2003


"What is life choices about?"
—Bush, speaking to student athletes
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Welcomes NCAA Champs," Feb. 24, 2003


"The more money they have in their more pockets — in their pockets, the more likely it is that somebody will find work."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks to the GOP Resort from the Greenbriar Resort," Feb. 9, 2003


"One year ago today, the time for excuse-making has come to an end."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on Anniversary of No Child Left Behind Act," Jan. 8, 2003


"And out of the evil done to America is going to come a more peaceful world, and a more better America..."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Welcome Ceremony," Oct. 22, 2002


"Some communities, you say, "Hey, American dream," and they go, "What does that mean?"
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Manchester, New Hampshire Welcome," Oct. 5, 2002


"There is no second-rate children in Arizona. There's no second-rate children in America."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks at Salmon for Governor and Renzi for Congress Fund-raiser," Sept. 27, 2002


"What is your ambitions?"
—Bush, speaking at the Parkview Arts and Science Magnet School
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at a Back-to-School Event," Aug. 29, 2002


"We will be steadfast and strong in our desire to make the world more free."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002


"When one of us suffer, all of us suffers."
—Bush, addressing the Pennsylvania coal miners
Source: The Nation, "W. and the Coal Miners: Photo-op Cover for Anti-worker Policies," David Corn, Aug. 6, 2002


"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test."
Source: United Press International, "Bush Proposes Increase in Education Funds," Mark Kukis, Feb. 21, 2001
Foot-in-Mouth Disease Strikes Again

"The President needs a lot of advice."
—Bush, giving a speech on Social Security in Omaha, Neb., Feb. 4.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 4, 2005

"We've got to get us an energy plan."
—Bush, during the same speech, Feb. 4, 2005.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 4, 2005

"I'm looking for a good cowboy."
—Bush, in Brussels, Belgium on Feb. 21, when a French reporter asked him if French President Jacques Chirac would be invited to his ranch in Texas.
Source: White House web site, Feb. 21, 2005

"I'm perfectly comfortable in telling you, our country is one that safeguards human rights and human dignity, and we resolve our disputes in a peaceful way."
—Bush, answering a Russian reporter's question at a Feb. 24 appearance in Bratislava, Slovakia, with Russian President Vladimir Putin
Source: White House web site, Feb. 24, 2005

"For all you C students out there, it's amazing what can happen to you if you keep working hard."
—Bush, preparing to speak about Social Security at the University of Notre Dame, Indiana, March 4, 2005.

"There's a trade deficit. That's easy to resolve: People can buy more United States products if they're worried about the trade deficit."
—George W. Bush, international economist, meeting with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi in the Oval Office on Dec. 15, 2004.

"Justice ought to be fair."
—Bush, speaking at the White House Economic Conference, Dec. 15, 2004.

"I realize, and many Americans realize, that it's not always easy to sleep next to the elephant."
—Bush, in Canada on Dec. 1, 2004, acknowledging it's sometimes difficult to be next-door neighbors with the United States.

"I'm trying to put a leash on 'em."
—Bush, explaining his parenting methods of daughters Jenna and Barbara, during the first televised debate with presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, Sept. 30, 2004.

"The CIA laid out several scenarios. It said that life could be lousy, life could be okay, life could be better. And they were just guessing as to what the conditions might be like."
—Bush, dismissing a leaked CIA report at a Sept. 21, 2004, meeting with Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi

Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.
—Bush addressing a group of witnesses at the signing of the Defense Appropriations Act for Fiscal Year 2005 in Washington, DC on Aug. 4.

"We've got an issue in America ... too many good docs are getting out of business. Too many OB/GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country."
—Bush, telling a crowd assembled in Poplar Bluff, Mo., about a previously underappreciated domestic problem, Sept. 6.
Source: The Washington Post, "A New Problem, or the Wrong Word?" Dana Milbank, Sept. 7, 2004

"I went to the Congress last September and proposed fundamental—supplemental funding, which is money for armor and body parts and ammunition and fuel."
—Bush, announcing an unintended policy position, at a Sept. 4 appearance in Erie, Pa.
Source: The Washington Post, "A New Problem, or the Wrong Word?" Dana Milbank, Sept. 7, 2004

"I'm honored to shake the hand of a brave Iraqi citizen who had his hand cut off by Saddam Hussein."
—Bush, meeting with Iraqi citizens who received medical care in the U.S., May 25, 2004

"I had the honor of calling Dale Earnhardt, Jr., after the race, to congratulate him. I said, there's nothing wrong with a fellow following in his father's footsteps."
—Bush, on Feb. 16, the day after watching racecar driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. win the Daytona 500. (Dale Earnhardt, Sr. died in a crash on the last lap of the Daytona 500 in 2001.)

"It's going to be very important for the Iraqi authorities to reach out to those people and talk about a system that guarantees minority rights, and a system which says that for some the future is bright."
—Bush, speaking in Washington, D.C., Dec. 15, 2003

"The second pillar of peace and security in our world is the willingness of free nations, when the last resort arrives, to retain aggression and evil by force."
—Bush, speaking in London, England, Nov. 19, 2003

"We want results in every single classroom so that one single child is left behind."
—Bush, speaking in Little Rock, Ark., Nov. 10, 2003

"And then we marched to war, war in Afghanistan and Iraq, all of which affected the people's confidence. That's a tough — tough hurdles to cross, when it came to our economy."
—Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., Nov. 7, 2003

"See, we want everybody in this country, every person — we want the addict, we want the single lonely mom, we want the child, the dyslexic child — all to feel a part of the future of this country."
—Bush, speaking in Dallas, Texas, on Oct. 29, 2003

"I'm sure there's a lot of people frightened — biotechnology is a long word and it sounds — they may say, well, I don't know if I'm smart enough to be in biotechnology, or it sounds too sophisticated to be in biotechnology."
—Bush, speaking in Winston-Salem, N.C., on Nov. 7, 2003

"The world is more peaceful and more free under my leadership."
Source: The Boston Globe, Oct. 29, 2003

"See, free nations do not develop weapons of mass destruction."
—So W., does this mean the U.S. is not a free nation?...
Source: The Chicago Sun-Times, Oct. 13, 2003

"I appreciate people's opinions, but I'm more interested in news. And the best way to get the news is from objective sources, and the most objective sources I have are people on my staff who tell me what's happening in the world."
—Bush, redefining "objectivity."
Source: CNN, "Bush 'Not Paying Attention' to Democratic Race: President Getting His News From Aides," Sept. 23, 2003

"There's too much leaking in Washington. That's just the way it is. And we've had leaks out of the administrative branch, had leaks out of the legislative branch, and out of the executive branch and the legislative branch."
—Bush, adding a fourth branch of government while leaving out the third.
Source: White House Office of the Press Secretary, "News Release: President Discusses Job Creation With Business Leaders," Sept. 30, 2003

REPORTER: "[The California recall is] the biggest political story in the country. Is it hard to go in there and say nothing about it?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "It is the biggest political story in the country? That's interesting. That says a lot. That speaks volumes."
REPORTER: "You don't agree?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "It's up to—I don't get to decide the biggest political story. You decide the biggest political story. But I find it interesting that that is the biggest political story in the country, as you just said."
REPORTER: "You don't think it should be?"
GEORGE W. BUSH: "Oh, I think there's maybe other political stories. Isn't there, like, a presidential race coming up? Maybe that says something. It speaks volumes, if you know what I mean."
—Bush, sharing his insights on the 2004 election, Aug. 13, 2003.
Source: Source: PBS Online News Hour, "California Certifies 135 Candidates in Recall Election," Aug. 14, 2003.

"We need to thin our forests in America."
—Bush, on the evil of forests, Aug. 11, 2003
Source: The Arizona Republic, "In Arizona, Bush Touts His Idea to Thin Forests," Aug. 12, 2003.

"We're expediting the administrative appeals process, so that disputes over projects are resolved quickly. In other words, not everybody agrees with thinning, there will objections. But we want those objections to be heard, of course—every citizen needs to hear a voice."
—Bush, hearing voices in Summerhaven, Ariz.
Source: The White House, "President Bush Promotes Healthy Forests in Arizona," Aug. 11, 2003

"I said you were a man of peace. I want you to know I took immense crap for that."
—Bush, speaking to Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon
Source: Washington Post, "Bush Sticks to the Broad Strokes," Glenn Kessler, June 3, 2003

"I'm also not very analytical. You know I don't spend a lot of time thinking about myself, about why I do things."
—Bush, reassuring us that the wartime president of the most powerful nation on earth does not think too much
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Roundtable Interview of the President by White House Press Pool," June 4, 2003

"I've got very good relations with President Mubarak and Crown Prince Abdullah and the King of Jordan, Gulf Coast countries."
—Bush, confusing the Gulf Coast with the Persian Gulf
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "Interview With Print Journalists," June 2, 2003

"I am the master of low expectations."
Source: Agence France Presse, "Bush Says Middle East Summit 'Met Expectations'," June 4, 2003

"We ended the rule of one of history's worst tyrants, and in doing so we not only freed the American people, we made our own people more secure."
—Bush, on regime change in the United States
Source: Federal Document Clearinghouse, "President George W. Bush and Australian Prime Minister John Howard Hold Joint Media Availability," May 3, 2003

"It will take time to restore chaos and order—but we—order out of chaos."
—Bush, speaking to reporters about the situation in Iraq
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President George W. Bush Delivers Remarks Regarding POWS," April 13, 2003

"And, most importantly, Alma Powell, secretary of Colin Powell, is with us."
—Bush, introducing Alma Powell, wife of Secretary of State Colin Powell
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush on First Anniversary of the USA Freedom Corps," Jan. 30, 2003


"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein and his willingness to terrorize himself."
Source: The Washington Post, "With Edwards, White House Shows First-Strike Capability," Dana Milbank, Feb. 11, 2003


"The Iraqi regime is a threat to any American and to threats who are friends of America."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Rallies Troops at Fort Hood," Jan. 3, 2003


"They see the risks are high, the risk of being able to find a job or the risk of keeping the homeland secure."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "President Bush Holds Press Conference, Presidential Hall, Dwight D. Eisenhower Executive Office Building," Nov. 7, 2002


"And I know something about being a government. And you've got a good one."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "Remarks by the President at Arkansas Welcome, Northwest Arkansas Regional Airport," Nov. 4, 2002


"If you want to build a big project and you can't get insurance because of what the terrorists have done for America, you can put the project aside."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Rally at Oakland County Airport," Oct. 14, 2002


"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose, "You disarm, or we will.'"
—Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks at a Sununu for Senate Fundraiser," Oct. 5, 2002


"If you find a neighbor in need, you're responsible for serving that neighbor in need, you're responsible for loving a neighbor just like you'd like to love yourself."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on the Economy," Sept. 16, 2002


"There's no doubt in my mind that we should allow the world worst leaders to hold America hostage, to threaten our peace, to threaten our friends and allies with the world's worst weapons."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002


"And when we find children trapped in schools which will not teach and will not change, as a society we must demand something better, because there is no second-rate children in America."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "Remarks by the President at Chris Chocola for Congress, and Indiana Victory 2002 Finance Dinner," Sept. 5, 2002


"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush at 'Simon for Governor' Luncheon," Aug. 23, 2002


"But here in Texas we took [trial lawyers] on and got some good medical—medical malpractice, which evidently had a few loopholes in it."
Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"Tommy is a good listener, and he's a pretty good actor, too. He can get things done. Action man, we call him."
—Bush, referring to Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"I promise you I will listen to what has been said here, even though I wasn't here."
Source: PR Newswire, "Remarks by the President at the Economic Forum Health Care Security Session," Aug. 13, 2002


"The consultation process is a positive part of really allowing people to fully understand our deep concerns about this man, his regime and his desires to have weapons of mass destruction. Last question—and then I've got to go chip and putt for a birdie. [Laughter.] It was a good drive."
—Bush, interrupting an Aug. 10 golf game in Waco, Texas, for a Q & A discussing possible U.S. military action against Iraq.
Source: The Washington Post, "White House Veteran to New Guy: Oh, Beha-aaa-ave!," Lloyd Grove, Aug. 13, 2002


"Do you have blacks, too?"
—Bush, speaking to Brazilian President Fernando Henrique Cardoso.
Source: Salon.com, "Bushed," Jake Tapper, June 20, 2002


"A dictatorship would be a heck of a lot easier, there's no question about it."
Source: Business Week Online, "A Gentleman's "C" for W," Richard S. Dunham, July 30, 2001
Barely Comprehensible and Funny

“Tribal sovereignty means that, it's sovereign. You're a -- you're a -- you have been given sovereignty and you're viewed as a sovereign entity.”
—Bush explaining what tribal sovereignty means in the 21st century to a gathering of minority journalists on Aug. 6.

"This is a special day for me. One of our daughters, a new graduate of the University of Texas, is traveling with me. Jenna, thanks for coming. She's already given me good advice. She said, "Dad, change your shirt."
—Bush, speaking in Kutztown, Pa., July 9, 2004

"In the last 32 months, history has placed great demands on our country, and events have come quickly."
—Bush, speaking from Carlisle, Virginia, May 24, 2004

"Well, I think we need to work with governments and institutions and NGOs to encourage the institutions of a free society," Bush said. "See, one of the interesting things in the Oval Office—I love to bring people into the Oval Office—right around the corner from here, and say, this is where I [have an] office, but I want you to know the office is always bigger than the person."
—Bush, responding to a reporter's question about how he plans to accomplish U.S. goals in the Middle East
Source: Al Kamen, The Washington Post, "Rocking the Vote in the Middle East," Feb. 20, 2004

"Jessica Simpson is here with us, which means we've finally introduced reality TV to the Lincoln Theater."
—Bush, introducing the pop singer and reality TV star on March 14 at Ford's Theater in Washington (where Lincoln was shot).
Source: Richard Leiby, The Washington Post, "Reliable Source," March 16, 2004

"You know, let me talk about Al Qaida just for a second. I made the statement that we're dismantling senior management, and we are. Our people have done a really good job of hauling in a lot of the key operators. Khalid Shaikh Mohammed. Abu Zubaida. Ramzi--Ramzi alshibh or whatever that guy's name was."
—Bush, at a July 30 press conference
Source: Washington Post, July 30, 2003

"By making the right choices, we can make the right choice for our future."
—Bush, sharing insights into improving Americans' health and fitness
Source: The White House, "President Bush Highlights Health and Fitness Initiative: Remarks by the President on Fitness," July 18, 2003

"In 2000, alone, obesity costs totaled the country an estimated cost of $117 billion."
—Bush, promoting his Health and Fitness Initiative
Source: The White House, "President Bush Highlights Health and Fitness Initiative: Remarks by the President on Fitness," July 18, 2003

"But we will bring the weapons and, of course—we will bring the information forward on the weapons when they find them. And that will end up—end all this speculation. I understand there has been a lot of speculation over in Great Britain, we've got a little bit of it here, about whether or not the—whether or not the actions were based upon valid information. We can debate that all day long, until the truth shows up."
—Bush, unwavering in his certainty that one way or another WMDs will appear in Iraq
Source: The White House, "President Bush, Prime Minister Blair Discuss War on Terrorism," July 17, 2003

"I had the opportunity to go out to Goree Island and talk about what slavery meant to America. It's very interesting when you think about it, the slaves who left here to go to America, because of their steadfast and their religion and their belief in freedom, helped change America. America is what it is today because of what went on in the past."
—Bush, commenting on the significance of slavery in America's past
Source: White House, "Remarks by the President to Embassy Personnel, Leopold Sedar Senghor International Airport, Dakar, Senegal," July 8, 2003

"And then we'll be going to Goree Island, where I'll be giving a speech about race, race in the world, race as it relates to Africa and America. And we're in the process of writing it. I can't give you any highlights of the speech yet because I, frankly, haven't seen it."
—Bush, discussing preparations for his trip to Africa
Source: White House, "President Bush Discusses Upcoming Africa Trip with Reporters Remarks by the President in Roundtable Interview with African Print Journalists," July 3, 2003

"We are in the process of helping them implement a strategy which is was described to us in Aqaba as to how the Palestinian Authority want to reconstitute a security force in order to make sure the terrorists, the haters of peace, those who can't stand freedom do not have their way in the Middle East."
—Bush, on smoothing some of the bumps in the road to peace in the Middle East
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"I think that freedom is a powerful incentive. And I am—I believe that someday freedom will prevail everywhere, because freedom is a powerful drive for people to—and it's the beginnings of people expressing themselves toward a free Iran, which I think is positive."
—Bush, on recent protests in Iran
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"Wait for us to succeed peace. Wait for us to have two states, side by side—is for everybody coming together to deny the killers the opportunity to destroy."
—Bush, speaking to reporters
Source: The White House, "President Believes Peace in Middle East is Achievable: Remarks by the President to the Travel Pool," June 15, 2003

"And if one of those jobs are created, we must have a system which trains people for the jobs which actually exist."
—Bush, discussing employment training
Source: U.S. Newswire, "Remarks by the President on Employment Training," June 17, 2003

"First, let me make it very clear, poor people aren't necessarily killers. Just because you happen to be not rich doesn't mean you're willing to kill."
—Bush, speaking about terrorism and poverty
Source: Public Papers of the Presidents, "The President's News Conference With President Macapagal-Arroyo of the Philippines," May 26, 2003

"Some one of my visits—one of the reasons I'm visiting here is to ask the question, you know, to people, because if there's moving too slow or people are saying one thing and the other thing is not happening, now's the time to find out."
—Bush, talking about hurricane relief
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks on Tornado Damage," May 13, 2003

"We can help somebody who hurts by hugging a neighbor in need."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush To Marine Personnel and Their Families," April 3, 2003

"And as I said in my State of the Union, the idea is to see that a car born today—I mean, a child born today will be driving a car, as his or her first car, which will be powered by hydrogen and pollution-free."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Energy Independence," Feb. 6, 2003


"There was a good news story in Mississippi. I went down there and—it wasn't because of me, it was because the doctors and the citizens understand the cost of a trial system gone array and they got themselves a law."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Calls for Medical Liability Reform," Jan. 16, 2003


"I mentioned early on that I recognize there are hurdles, and we're going to achieve those hurdles."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush," Jan. 22, 2003


"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."
Source: ABC News Transcripts, "President Bush and First Lady Bush '20/20' Year-End Interview," Dec. 13, 2002


"The goals for this country are peace in the world. And the goals for this country are a compassionate American for every single citizen. That compassion is found in the hearts and souls of the American citizens."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "President Visits D.C. Food Bank," Dec. 19, 2002


"Sometimes Washington is one of these towns where the people who think they've got the sharp elbows are the most effective person."
Source: Federal Document Clearing House, "George W. Bush Participates in a Terrell-for-Senate Luncheon," Dec. 3, 2002


"The solid truth of the matter is, when you find—if you want to help heal the hurt, if you want to you hurt people—help people in pain, the best way to do so is to call upon the great strength of the country, which is the compassion of our fellow Americans."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Delivers Remarks," Nov. 4, 2002


"I want the youngsters here to remember the story of Flight 93, one of most profound parts of this entire history of the recent history we've been through."
Source: Federal News Service, "President Bush Remarks at Missouri Welcome," Nov. 4, 2002


"This is a—this is a—any strike's a tough—tough situation, but this one happens to come at a—or a lockout is a tough situation, or no work is a tough situation—is to come at bad time."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President Bush Following Meeting with Congressional Leaders to Discuss Terrorism Insurance," Oct. 1, 2002


"There's an old saying in Tennessee—I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee—that says: Fool me once, shame on [pause] shame on you. [Pause] Fool me [long, uncomfortable, agonizing pause] you can't get fooled again."
Source: The Washington Post, "The Reliable Source," Lloyd Grove, Sept. 18, 2002


"We're going to have a White House forum there in Washington, D.C., obviously—that's where the White House is ..."
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Participates in Pledge Across America," Sept. 17, 2002


"I should have clarified it by my statement. I just clarified it by my—not should have—I just."
—Bush, trying to clarify a statement
Source: FDCH Political Transcripts, "George W. Bush Holds Media Availability with Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi," Sept. 14, 2002


"We've got pockets of persistent poverty in our society, which I refuse to declare defeat—I mean, I refuse to allow them to continue on. And so one of the things that we're trying to do is to encourage a faith-based initiative to spread its wings all across America, to be able to capture this great compassionate spirit."
Source: Federal News Service, "Remarks by President George W. Bush Re: Small Businesses Location," March 18, 2002

the real reason

its not texas

one more

helping during Katrina